Song When I'm in Bad Mood

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind.
Then look a bit harder,
cause we're so uninspired.
So sick and tired.
Of all The hatred you harbor,
so you say
It's not okay to be gay,
Well I think You're just evil.
You're just some racist.
Who can't tie my laces,
You're point of view is medieval.

F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much.
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crews
So please don't stay in touch,
F*ck you, f*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch.

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out.
Of being small minded
You want to be Like your father
His approval your after
Well that's not how
You'll find it
Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life
That's so hateful
Cause there's a hole
Where your soul should be
You're losing Control of it
And it's really distasteful

F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please
Don't stay in touch

Self Contract

Good morning, I just finished Pengantar Ilmu Hukum class. Once again Im going on-line with my friends in d multimedia building. After this I will go back to my dormitory and wash all my dirty clothes. lol.

Right now I really want to talk about "what I want to be in the future with law as my basic skill". Sometimes I feel that its kinda ridiculous when I'm studying law, and I often think like, "hey, what am I doing so I naively just learn another people's analysis and opinion? names like Socrates, Plato, and Aristoteles. they were people who even lived faaaar away before my birth. who cares? moreover, they were not Indonesian, they were Greek. but learning those Greeks' analysis is just a phase that I have to go through, all I have to do is just being patience and wait until I get the chance to choose the concentration I want to.

****

I want to embrace all my dreams. even not only embrace, but hug. I want to hug all my dreams n hold them tight like I'll never let them go. Why hug? Cuz hugging means you have possessed them. but dont get me wrong, possessing here means you have to love them, cuz dreams are not made just to be reached then forgotten, but dreams are made to be gained and loved.
profession is not only about carrier, a carrier you have to be built and made to be in the top. you have to do ur profession wholeheartedly, for humankind interest and your God. when you are doing ur carrier from the bottom of your heart, you will find that salary doesnt matter at all. maybe I sound like Mrs.Knows-It-All, I havent even been an employee! but this is just a motivation made by and for myself, just in case I lose focus and faith in the future, and just to remind me later that I have made a contract with myself that I'll do my profession for public and religion interest.

I cant predict the future I'll get, I have no idea at all. I do make plan, but noone can guarantee that my plan will work. everything is on Allah's hand.

Gotta go. I think this entry is more like a speech, I have to cut it out now or my speech will just get wider and wider.

From Jogja With Love,

Aul-

One of The Best Teachers

Good afternoon, how r u y'all doing? i'm in multimedia building with my friends, going on-line. today I had a pretty tight schedule, but Im happy cuz I've just got my KTM, Kartu Tanda Mahasiswa. lol. :D

Today I had Ilmu Negara class, my friend Taufik was terrificly amazing cuz he seemed like he knew everything, I tried to b active but apparantly my knowledge is still far away compared to him. hahaha. My lecturer, Mr Andy Omara has become my favorit lecture cuz he's kind of lecture who gives his students chance to convey their knowledge or opinion.

Maybe I told you this already in my previous entry, but college is indeed different from high school. in college, ur lectures dont tell you what to do, or order you to write down d materials. college is all about ur own iniative, u are the ones who decide what you have to do. thats one of the best teacher, how to make you become a self-independent.

My mom has spent a big amount of money just to send me to this prestigious university, I wont make that huge sacrifation only end up in vain. I'll be a super-fair law enforcemnet agent in d future, no matter what kind of law I'll take. I'm gonna take international law, but it doesnt mean I'll forget the basic obligation of law student, to enforce the law. :D

thats all I can give for today, I'll try my best to keep posting n informing you my activities. 7 days from now I'll come home!

College Student..!

Im so sorry for neglecting this blog for such a loooong time! I barely had spare time just to post a new entry. but it doesnt mean i've forgotten this blog, of course no, I still love this blog so much.

right now I'm in Jogja. my new life as a college student is just began. it feels very hilarious, met new friends from other parts of countries, specially my new friends from group 19. what is group 19? it was the first bunch of people whom I met, d first people who interfered so much in my business, it was d first people who helped me get through all d tough days during d PPSMB. N till now we're still bestfriends.

I'm studying Law. honest to say, i dont understand d subject I'm learning now. it has a lots of confusing terms and difficult materials to comprehend n memorize. i used to like reading but dont know why I turn to be lazier and lazier day by day. lol.
There are significant differences between being a high school student and college student. in high school, we have to wear uniform everyday we go to school, and our learning schedule has been arranged firmly by the academic officer, but in college, we are allowed to wear anything we like (as long as it fits to the campus's rules) and we can arrange our schedules by ourselves. that's fantastic!

Love Letter

I know u're mad at me and I'm sorry if I once again let u down. U have to understand that it's not easy for me. What we've been doing is impossible, u know it. u're there, i'm here, we're thousands miles separated. that's why nowadays I start pushing myself to be stronger and tougher than b4. When u came to me, I almost could’nt help myself from responding u and bringing u back into my life. but that's not gonna happen again. I cant get rid of all memories about u thoroughly, but it doesn't mean I want u to come back. No, I just want to respect u cuz I dont have the right to make a bad assessment about u.

I dont know if u still like to visit my blog, but I hope u'll have a kind of premonition that I wont leave u with nothing at all. At least I'm gonna make some last words for u to remember, cuz after this, sooner or later u'll move on with ur life, and I'll move on with my own.

At the first times we knew each other, we were often at loggerheads, and what's funny is I ever had a dislike feeling to you for pretty short times cuz I thought u were someone that was too serious. lol. but then it changed, now I know that u are a loving person. :D
Hmm.. I just wanna say thank u for all your kindness and patience all this time. thank u for being sooo patience in dealing with someone like me, a person who never stops hurting u, either through my words or my actions. I hope we can separate nicely, in a peaceful way. And u dont have to worry cuz I no longer cry. See you again, if God's will.

STRONG

Good morning. I got a sad news last night, my aunt who had been sick for a week, passed away. *May God forgive all her mistakes and she can rest in peace*. Amiiin..

Maybe u're wondering, what makes me woke up so early like this? hahahaha. there's nothing particular, actually. I just miss my blog so much and want to post something so badly. how was my last entry? was that good?

Well, actually I'm sad now. Yes, of course one of the cause is my aunt's death, but there's something else, too. it's about someone who I tell you in Broken Heart-FIFA-Jogjakarta entry. I thought I'd never remember him again. But I was wrong. I cant believe he's been away for almost 3 weeks.
Everytime I go on-line to one of my social network sites, I always hope he sends me a message and ask me to unblock and bring him back to mylife. of course he cant use his own since I've blocked it, but he can use his friend's who I know well enough, too.
This is kinda complicated, and ridiculous. I cant even believe in myself. I have to get over it immediately, I know it'll only be in vain if I keep thing about him, cuz he seems like he doesnt care of me anymore. that's sad. very sad. :(

U know what, I hate this situation. I hate when I become very sad and weak just because of trivial problem. People always see me as the brave and strong girl, but why I cant overcome this kind of problem? I know I can, but I just havent risen up yet.

I'll be leaving Bogor and then live in Jogjakarta in a moment. I hope I can open a new page of mylife there. I want to wipe away all bad memories I've got here, and who knows I can find my truly prince there, just like he said. Hei, I'm almost 18, it's time for me to start feeling a true love. I think I have a right to feel it. I like the idea of growing up, I like the fact that I'm gonna be a college student because my passion to pursue and achieve my dream job is soo big, I'm ready to pursue it, I was born to achieve it. Amiiin. And to make it come true, just like I wrote in my Worthless vs Useless entry, I have to struggle very hard, cuz hoping is never enough. And one of the actions of struggling is being strong. yes, I know my path will be very windy and rocky. Nothing is smooth for me, I'm sure of that because I've felt that so many times. lol.

How can I be strong if the fact is I've fallen very hard just because I'm broken heart? Hahahahaha. u know what, everytime I think of that question, it adds more courage to my heart and my mind, and it makes me believe that he is not worth it.and it's better. it's better for me to think that he's not worth it rather than staying stuck on him. :D I'm strong, and will be stronger and stronger, just like this lyrics "When I'm older, I will be stronger. they'll call me freedom, just like a wavin' flag..." sounds familiar, right???

Gotta go. I hope this entry can inspire u to be a strong girl. "Big girls dont cry!!!"
:)

Worthless vs Useless

It’s raining heavily outside, what a windy day (I wrote this entry at 5, but posted it just now ). Maybe my journey to the future will be as this windy. But I have not even started yet, not yet. I’ve indeed done my high school, but finishing high school means I begin another chapter of my life.

Hmm.. I'm sorry 4 abandoning and neglecting this blog for quite long time. You know I dont always have an interesting story to tell everyday, specially because I'm on a long holiday now. Hey, but it doesn't mean I'm spending this holiday by crouching hopelessly at home, doing nothing. Lol. Sometimes I come out and hang out with my friends, but just not everyday. Cuz yeah.. you know, some of my friends have already started the college.

Making amends, and as a proof that I still seriously care and love this blog, I'd post a long entry. something related to life, even it's very related. something psychological which really exists in our life. What is it??


"I believe each person was born with different objectives, and they were made to create difference, there are no worthless people in this world, even the disabled or mentally ill ones. Yes, there are no worthless people in this world, but there are some who are useless.

What’s the difference between worthless and useless? If somebody say that we’re worthless, it means he has humiliated our primary right, human right. Human right is the most fundamental element of an individual, where the right that he has is not questionable anymore, where the right he has can’t be broken by any laws or arguments.

We are living creatures; of course we are precious and worth it. We are God’s creation; thus we deserve to get protection and recognition. That’s why we’re precious; we deserve to live, because we’re living things. And for this reason, there’s no worthless person in the world.

Useless. Becoming useless isn’t somebody’s fault. It’s not our friends’ fault, or our teachers’ fault. It’s ours. We’re made with a lot of great things that can help us make a contribution to something we’re fond of. There’s nothing perfect, I know that. But there’s nobody who forces the others to be always good at anything and anytime, too. That’s why we often hear word “tolerance”. We can take a badminton athlete as one example. He can run fast, he has quick responses and reflects, good backhand or forehand. But we never know that outside the field he often gets difficulty in solving math’s problems or gets trapped in dead end when he’s asked to make a poetry..

So, if we do have a lot of marvelous things and talents, why there are still many people who end up in jail or rehabilitation center or in the street? It’s because they don’t use their options wisely. Options? Yes, Options. People always have options, they are simple :

What do you want yourself to be in the future? A. Success individual B. Failed individual.
Of course, you will choose A. So will I. That is everyone’s hope, to be successful.
Hoping is easy, but making it come true is not as easy as it sounds. We have to struggle very hard, and sometimes we have to sacrifice and make a hard decision, but those are just parts of our journey. I can’t say that I’ve managed to finish my journey beautifully, but at least I begin to understand several things about this life.
People tend to be trapped in themselves. What makes them fail, or worst, useless, is they always take too lightly anything. They count on somebody else, not themselves. They depend on another people’s help. They want to be success but they don’t want to work. They also always blame destiny for their disability, while we all know that God has said, “We will not alter people’s condition until they alter it by themselves”. They are supposed to know that their condition still can be changed and fixed.
Being useless is a shame, a big shame. Aren’t we embarrassed of ourselves if all we can do is only becoming government’s burden and getting another people in trouble?"




So, what do u think?? Do u agree with me? do you think at the same way like me? of course we have different opinions, it's okay. but I just try to convey mine. Hope u all can understand them very well.

Farewell.