STRONG

Good morning. I got a sad news last night, my aunt who had been sick for a week, passed away. *May God forgive all her mistakes and she can rest in peace*. Amiiin..

Maybe u're wondering, what makes me woke up so early like this? hahahaha. there's nothing particular, actually. I just miss my blog so much and want to post something so badly. how was my last entry? was that good?

Well, actually I'm sad now. Yes, of course one of the cause is my aunt's death, but there's something else, too. it's about someone who I tell you in Broken Heart-FIFA-Jogjakarta entry. I thought I'd never remember him again. But I was wrong. I cant believe he's been away for almost 3 weeks.
Everytime I go on-line to one of my social network sites, I always hope he sends me a message and ask me to unblock and bring him back to mylife. of course he cant use his own since I've blocked it, but he can use his friend's who I know well enough, too.
This is kinda complicated, and ridiculous. I cant even believe in myself. I have to get over it immediately, I know it'll only be in vain if I keep thing about him, cuz he seems like he doesnt care of me anymore. that's sad. very sad. :(

U know what, I hate this situation. I hate when I become very sad and weak just because of trivial problem. People always see me as the brave and strong girl, but why I cant overcome this kind of problem? I know I can, but I just havent risen up yet.

I'll be leaving Bogor and then live in Jogjakarta in a moment. I hope I can open a new page of mylife there. I want to wipe away all bad memories I've got here, and who knows I can find my truly prince there, just like he said. Hei, I'm almost 18, it's time for me to start feeling a true love. I think I have a right to feel it. I like the idea of growing up, I like the fact that I'm gonna be a college student because my passion to pursue and achieve my dream job is soo big, I'm ready to pursue it, I was born to achieve it. Amiiin. And to make it come true, just like I wrote in my Worthless vs Useless entry, I have to struggle very hard, cuz hoping is never enough. And one of the actions of struggling is being strong. yes, I know my path will be very windy and rocky. Nothing is smooth for me, I'm sure of that because I've felt that so many times. lol.

How can I be strong if the fact is I've fallen very hard just because I'm broken heart? Hahahahaha. u know what, everytime I think of that question, it adds more courage to my heart and my mind, and it makes me believe that he is not worth it.and it's better. it's better for me to think that he's not worth it rather than staying stuck on him. :D I'm strong, and will be stronger and stronger, just like this lyrics "When I'm older, I will be stronger. they'll call me freedom, just like a wavin' flag..." sounds familiar, right???

Gotta go. I hope this entry can inspire u to be a strong girl. "Big girls dont cry!!!"
:)