Farewell Ceremony

It's over.
Senior high is over.
we had our farewell ceremony today. [actually, it was not a ceremony, it was more like a party. but i think it's kinda pathetic if I mention an emotional moment as a "party", right?]

We all wore "kebaya", we put on some make-up, dressed up beautifully. my friends were all good looking, they were beautiful and handsome. I wish I could upload our photos here, but you know, uploading photos in my notebook will take a very long time, i'm still waiting till my mom buy me a new one. Just in a moment.. :D

I wore high heels, 7cm. it tortured me so much. I felt pain in all my toes and I was so weary holding my own weight.. I dont want to wear shoes whose heels are more than 5 cm anymore! that would be my l-a-s-t time.
Tell you the truth, I expected a moment in which we all would cry. shaking hands each other, with teachers or friends, with "Hymne Guru" song played as the backsound. but that was not happening. the ceremony went on with no touching moments. the core event was the certificate handover to the students. students were called one by one, went up to the stage, be handed the certificate by each house teacher, then went down again. that was the core event. and after that, the event was continued with entertainment thingy. dance performance, singing performance, and so on and so on. I thought, what?? Is it a wedding reception?

Anyway, I dont want to waste my energy just to think about that. I really wanted to spend that memorable day with my friends, but considering the pain I felt in my toes, finally I decided to go home immediately after the event over. I gave a time to take pictures with my first grade students, and the third grade ones, of course. How could I skip a chance to eternalize that memorable day??

Dear all my friends, now I can only say that I will always pray for you, guys. I always pray for your best. Hopefully you all can reach your dream, get what you have been dreaming, and we meet in the future with smile, telling our each success and accomplishment.. Amiiin..


Love you..

College.. oh College..

Haiii.. Ooo my God. Long time no see!! How are you all?? Apparently I've broken my promise to post more often and more frequently.. and it means I have to apologize, right?? Okaay, please forgive me.. :D

Honestly, I have nothing to tell, except.. I've made up my mind to choose UGM instead of UI. I dont want to tell why, cuz I myself think that the reason is ridiculous and not strong enough. Although it's heavy, but i believe that it's the best for me, and for my parents.

I almost cried when I decided that. or maybe I already cried. I want UI soo bad, who doesn't?? It's the most wanted university in Indonesia, located near the heart of the country. But it seems that God has another plan for me. Let's keep thinking positive, okey??

So, college will begin on August, but I have to go to Jogja this June to have toefl test. By the way, I'll live in Jogja in dormitory. Sounds very cool. :D


Ciao!

SURPRISES

Now I believe that life is full of surprises.. Before this, I had never got a really surprising surprise, maybe there had been some, but none of them was as surprising as this. Hecck.. What am I talking about?? I think I mention word "surprise" and "surprising" too much.

I thought my happines was already over after the UGM test announcement. but in fact, there is still another one. and I dont get that. Why me?

Guess what, I'm accepeted at University of Indonesia.. Faculty of Law, too. Damnn.. I know, I know.. it's supposed to be a good news for me. I mean, look, more than 50.000 students in all parts of Indonesia would kill for a seat in that university. But, why I say "damn"?
I've been accepted at UGM. Gadjah Mada University. That's a prestigious university, too, in Indonesia. With the same faculty, Faculty of law. And I wish I wasn't accepted at UI because by that, I dont need to be confused, to feel my faith shaken, to regret anything that I've got before. Both of them are like a diamond. They are like Yamaha and Ducati in MotoGP. They are like Ferrari and McLaren in F1. They are like Noriyuki Haga and Ben Spies in Superbike [though I know Ben Spies has moved to MotoGP). Hahaha. That's a ridiculous parable.

However, God must have given this for a reason. Maybe He wants to test me, how will I make a decision?? Am I mature or not, do I think from all sides..?

Gotta go for a while.


***


I'm back. my mom got an urgent business, she had to use the laptop.

Back to our discussion (discussion??). The point is, UI and UGM are good. They're great, the top universities in Indonesia. And I want them both. Lol. :D

Speaking the quality of Law Faculty, UI is better than UGM. but it doesn't mean Law Faculty of UGM is bad. No, no. But we all know, UI is a bit more.. more.. urban?? The location, the custom, the environment.. People also know "Yellow Jacket" more than "Pale Brown Jacket" Wait, wait.. Why... Why am I talking about UI now?? I dont mean to compare them. They're both good.

But the real problem is, my mom has paid the entrance fee, etc of UGM. It's more than 12 million rupiahs, and I cant bring myself to waste that much money. No, no. If I leave UGM, my mom will have to spend more money. I dont wanna Mom spend more money.
So, what am I supposed to do? I've done shalat istikharah, and in my dad's book, I read "the tendency that you get between your 2 options, Insya Allah, it's the best for you". And I'm waiting for that, cuz until now, I'm still thinking about both universities equally.

The Time of My Life

I've been waiting for my dreams to turn into something I could believe in
And looking for that magic rainbow on the horizon
I couldn't see it
Until I let go. Gave in to love and watched all the bitternes burn
Now I'm coming alive.

Body and soul and feeling my world start to run
And I'll taste every moment and live it out loud.
I know this the time, this is the time to be more than a name
or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time.. of my life

Holding onto things that vanished into the air. left me in pieces.
But now I'm rising from the ashes, finding my wings
And all that I need was there all along within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

Spread Your Wings, Fly as High as Possible!

I'm soo happy today!! I'm so happy for my friends. My three incredible friends. Nira, Helda, Yudis. congratulation guys, you are officially collegers now. :D
yeaaah, today the result of UNPAD test was announced. and they're all accepted. I dont know why, but I'm also happy for them. Almost all my friends have already had a university....
yeah, some of them haven't. but that's not a problem. Their time will come, maybe not now. maybe it's just a little suprise prepared by God for them. you know, a relief and happiness in last seconds.. :D
you know what, maturity always grows every second. maybe its speed on people is different, but one for sure is, it always grows. I know mine is growing soo slowly, slower than people in general. but I feel like there's something harsh in my heart that is dissolving. and things which I considered as trivial or melancholy things now begin to be felt as the reality these days. I used to think that high school is boring and I always wanted to go to college asap. But when I'm here now, one step left to the college gate, I cant help to keep looking back. I cant hold myself for not wishing to study at the same college with all my friends. but of course I know, that's not happening. it's time for us to find our identity, to spread our wings, to wander about, and to reach our dream. and I'll be very selfish if I cant let them go..

Maybe I'll write down the names of people who have got university in my class:

-Arti : Bogor Agricultural University
-Itha : Bogor Agricultural University
-Suwarti : Bogor Agricultural University
-Fatma : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Wanti : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Aje : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Afthon : Gadjah Mada University
-Iqbal : Gadjah Mada University
-Me (Aulia) : Gadjah Mada University
-Nira : Padjajaran University
-Yudis : Padjajaran University
-Helda : Padjajaran University

there are 11 persons, while the students in my class are 39. still 28 people haven't got a seat at university. but the university entrance season is not over yet. there are still many chances. I always pray for them.


Now.. it's time for myself to spread my wings and fly. as high as possible. so I will be very close to my dream. you know what are my dreams?? Yeaaah. to become a professional diplomat and a minister of my country. Amiiiin..

What a Hot Day!!

What a boring day. What a hot day. Oooo my God. What a boring and hot day.

I went to school this morning, just to meet my friends, stayed there only for 3 hours. nothing to do. yeah, I gave the book I donate to my school library, but that's all. then I went to canteen, meet my friends, [Goooshh.. I miss them all soo bad. It's hard just to gather around with them now, cuz we have no more routines there, u know, we've graduated.] Some of my friens intended to go to cinema and watch Iron Man, but I couldnt go with them. It was all because the money in the wallet. What a pity.. While actually I really wished I could have gone with them, I mean, come on.. some of them will start the college at the end of June.. And the others will be busy to take care of university administration. You know what.. it feels like..like.. hm.. how to say it..?? I'm grateful.. very grateful.. cuz I've been accepted at UGM, but my happiness.. why cant it be allied with my other friends' happiness?? I am the only one student in my class who succeeded in UGM test. I'm very thankful, but I want to be with them!! Why none of them succeeded, too?

Whooosaah.. Relax.. It's because of the hot wheater outside. It's dry season in Indonesia now.

By the way, I must remember that God always has a plan behind anything. behind the tears, the failure, or rejection. they'll get better university. Amiiin.

Talking about college, I've started to learn English again since last Sunday [I've told you about TOEFL test in my future campus, right?]. I bought a TOEFL pratice book, and so far, it helps a lot! it reminds me to some grammatical problems which are very simple but very forgettable and difficult, too. Lol. For example, noun phrase, a few, few, a little, little.
I asked some of my friends whom I think are good in English about it at school today, but it seemed that they had forgotten it, too. :D
So maybe I'll come to my school again and meet my English teacher.. It is very embarrasing, isn't?? How could.. I forget.. a trivial thing like noun phrase?? :(
I must go to school tomorrow.

It's really hot today. Oooow my God.. I feel like I'm toasted in my own house. *too much*


I want to shower now. Babayyy....

A Doctor Without Borders

Guys, have you ever read a novel which successfully makes you feel like u are in that story? Like you become the third person in the story, then you imagine specifically anything the author describes, so it's like you are watching a movie??
I have. I have just read a novel like that. the novel's title is A Doctor Without Borders.

The novel tells about an emergency doctor from Canada who joined a Swiss NGOs whose mission is to send volunteers to isolated places or countries. well, not always isolated, sometimes some areas which are in the middle of war. the doctor's name is James Maskalyk, and he's the author of that novel, so, the novel is based on true story.
dr James went to Sudan, more precisely Abyei. there was a civil war on progress in Sudan, and maybe there is still now. Abyei is one of the towns that's claimed by both of militan which are on the war. North and South militan.
dr James served as a doctor in the only existing hospital in Abyei. The hospital itself wasnt supported with complete facilities or sufficient medicines and equipments.

dr james was placed in Abyei for 6 months. He always perpetuated everything that happened in there on his blog. I cant tell you the blog's name. you can just go googling and type word "six months in sudan", then you'll find it.
anyway, the point is.. in the novel, dr James told everything.. the condition of Abyei and the people, the condition of his and the other volunteers' hunt, the relationship between him and his teammates or the Abyei people. he also told bluntly how he tried to cure and take care of sick people. the failure, the death, the relief, all kind of sensations. How he did a small operation, how hard he tried to put a breathing tube into a child's throat, to help the child breathe more easily.

You know, it's one of the most amazing novel to me. It uses blunt sentences, and sometimes poetic. dr James described what he saw and felt and experienced very well. it feels like I'm pulled into that story. it feels like I stand right beside the author and follow the author anywhere he goes. it feels like I become the third eye of the author.
what's more amazing is.. when I almost finished reading the novel, it felt like I was the one who said good bye to all components in the story, the people, the hunts, the heat, the hospital, and dr James's teammates. I felt the sadness that dr James felt when he was leaving. i know it sounds excessive, but that's what I feel.
I really want to read the novel once again, cuz goood. it's amazing.

maybe this novels has helped me to find my real favorite kinds of books. I'll just buy a touching and inspiring novel like A Doctor Without Borders, you know, usually it's a kind of novel based on true story..

:D

I gotta go shower.. Bye.. have a nice weekend. :D

May Day, May Day

Good morning.. So, it's May already, huh? Wow. I cant feel how fast the time has passed. But one for sure is, my new life as a university student is closer ..! :D
By the way, I apologize bcuz I didnt post too much in April. it was a hectic month, and I felt that my energy was drained very bad. there were many things to do, about university administration, school pratical test.. Huft..
But I think I've got more spare times now. I probably will only go to school twice in a week. just to get graduation certificate or give stamp of three fingers.
yet it makes me confused also. I really dont know what to do at home, there's a big prossibility I'll spend a whole one day by watching TV, having a snack, sleeping, over and over and over. Yeah, so it seems that May will make me gain more and more weight, right??

By the way, I seriously have to start learning English again. In June, I'll get TOEFL test in my campus. If my TOEFL score doesnt reach 500, I have to add English to my SKS and I dont like that. I was good in English, but am I still?? dont know. I still write many things in English but if I meet grammar problems, I dont know if I'll be able to solve them as good as I used to. I dont know if I still have the ancient ability, cuz it's been a long time since I practice solving English test.. Huft.. Gotta buy the practice book soon.


Ehhm.. I promise, wholeheartedly I'll post more frequently and more often from now on. Cuz I want to have more people read it.
By the way, thank you for my new reader, Carissa. it's nice to know someone reads the story I published.

Farewell.