Song When I'm in Bad Mood

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind.
Then look a bit harder,
cause we're so uninspired.
So sick and tired.
Of all The hatred you harbor,
so you say
It's not okay to be gay,
Well I think You're just evil.
You're just some racist.
Who can't tie my laces,
You're point of view is medieval.

F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much.
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crews
So please don't stay in touch,
F*ck you, f*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch.

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out.
Of being small minded
You want to be Like your father
His approval your after
Well that's not how
You'll find it
Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life
That's so hateful
Cause there's a hole
Where your soul should be
You're losing Control of it
And it's really distasteful

F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F*ck you, f*ck you
Very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please
Don't stay in touch

Self Contract

Good morning, I just finished Pengantar Ilmu Hukum class. Once again Im going on-line with my friends in d multimedia building. After this I will go back to my dormitory and wash all my dirty clothes. lol.

Right now I really want to talk about "what I want to be in the future with law as my basic skill". Sometimes I feel that its kinda ridiculous when I'm studying law, and I often think like, "hey, what am I doing so I naively just learn another people's analysis and opinion? names like Socrates, Plato, and Aristoteles. they were people who even lived faaaar away before my birth. who cares? moreover, they were not Indonesian, they were Greek. but learning those Greeks' analysis is just a phase that I have to go through, all I have to do is just being patience and wait until I get the chance to choose the concentration I want to.

****

I want to embrace all my dreams. even not only embrace, but hug. I want to hug all my dreams n hold them tight like I'll never let them go. Why hug? Cuz hugging means you have possessed them. but dont get me wrong, possessing here means you have to love them, cuz dreams are not made just to be reached then forgotten, but dreams are made to be gained and loved.
profession is not only about carrier, a carrier you have to be built and made to be in the top. you have to do ur profession wholeheartedly, for humankind interest and your God. when you are doing ur carrier from the bottom of your heart, you will find that salary doesnt matter at all. maybe I sound like Mrs.Knows-It-All, I havent even been an employee! but this is just a motivation made by and for myself, just in case I lose focus and faith in the future, and just to remind me later that I have made a contract with myself that I'll do my profession for public and religion interest.

I cant predict the future I'll get, I have no idea at all. I do make plan, but noone can guarantee that my plan will work. everything is on Allah's hand.

Gotta go. I think this entry is more like a speech, I have to cut it out now or my speech will just get wider and wider.

From Jogja With Love,

Aul-

One of The Best Teachers

Good afternoon, how r u y'all doing? i'm in multimedia building with my friends, going on-line. today I had a pretty tight schedule, but Im happy cuz I've just got my KTM, Kartu Tanda Mahasiswa. lol. :D

Today I had Ilmu Negara class, my friend Taufik was terrificly amazing cuz he seemed like he knew everything, I tried to b active but apparantly my knowledge is still far away compared to him. hahaha. My lecturer, Mr Andy Omara has become my favorit lecture cuz he's kind of lecture who gives his students chance to convey their knowledge or opinion.

Maybe I told you this already in my previous entry, but college is indeed different from high school. in college, ur lectures dont tell you what to do, or order you to write down d materials. college is all about ur own iniative, u are the ones who decide what you have to do. thats one of the best teacher, how to make you become a self-independent.

My mom has spent a big amount of money just to send me to this prestigious university, I wont make that huge sacrifation only end up in vain. I'll be a super-fair law enforcemnet agent in d future, no matter what kind of law I'll take. I'm gonna take international law, but it doesnt mean I'll forget the basic obligation of law student, to enforce the law. :D

thats all I can give for today, I'll try my best to keep posting n informing you my activities. 7 days from now I'll come home!

College Student..!

Im so sorry for neglecting this blog for such a loooong time! I barely had spare time just to post a new entry. but it doesnt mean i've forgotten this blog, of course no, I still love this blog so much.

right now I'm in Jogja. my new life as a college student is just began. it feels very hilarious, met new friends from other parts of countries, specially my new friends from group 19. what is group 19? it was the first bunch of people whom I met, d first people who interfered so much in my business, it was d first people who helped me get through all d tough days during d PPSMB. N till now we're still bestfriends.

I'm studying Law. honest to say, i dont understand d subject I'm learning now. it has a lots of confusing terms and difficult materials to comprehend n memorize. i used to like reading but dont know why I turn to be lazier and lazier day by day. lol.
There are significant differences between being a high school student and college student. in high school, we have to wear uniform everyday we go to school, and our learning schedule has been arranged firmly by the academic officer, but in college, we are allowed to wear anything we like (as long as it fits to the campus's rules) and we can arrange our schedules by ourselves. that's fantastic!

Love Letter

I know u're mad at me and I'm sorry if I once again let u down. U have to understand that it's not easy for me. What we've been doing is impossible, u know it. u're there, i'm here, we're thousands miles separated. that's why nowadays I start pushing myself to be stronger and tougher than b4. When u came to me, I almost could’nt help myself from responding u and bringing u back into my life. but that's not gonna happen again. I cant get rid of all memories about u thoroughly, but it doesn't mean I want u to come back. No, I just want to respect u cuz I dont have the right to make a bad assessment about u.

I dont know if u still like to visit my blog, but I hope u'll have a kind of premonition that I wont leave u with nothing at all. At least I'm gonna make some last words for u to remember, cuz after this, sooner or later u'll move on with ur life, and I'll move on with my own.

At the first times we knew each other, we were often at loggerheads, and what's funny is I ever had a dislike feeling to you for pretty short times cuz I thought u were someone that was too serious. lol. but then it changed, now I know that u are a loving person. :D
Hmm.. I just wanna say thank u for all your kindness and patience all this time. thank u for being sooo patience in dealing with someone like me, a person who never stops hurting u, either through my words or my actions. I hope we can separate nicely, in a peaceful way. And u dont have to worry cuz I no longer cry. See you again, if God's will.

STRONG

Good morning. I got a sad news last night, my aunt who had been sick for a week, passed away. *May God forgive all her mistakes and she can rest in peace*. Amiiin..

Maybe u're wondering, what makes me woke up so early like this? hahahaha. there's nothing particular, actually. I just miss my blog so much and want to post something so badly. how was my last entry? was that good?

Well, actually I'm sad now. Yes, of course one of the cause is my aunt's death, but there's something else, too. it's about someone who I tell you in Broken Heart-FIFA-Jogjakarta entry. I thought I'd never remember him again. But I was wrong. I cant believe he's been away for almost 3 weeks.
Everytime I go on-line to one of my social network sites, I always hope he sends me a message and ask me to unblock and bring him back to mylife. of course he cant use his own since I've blocked it, but he can use his friend's who I know well enough, too.
This is kinda complicated, and ridiculous. I cant even believe in myself. I have to get over it immediately, I know it'll only be in vain if I keep thing about him, cuz he seems like he doesnt care of me anymore. that's sad. very sad. :(

U know what, I hate this situation. I hate when I become very sad and weak just because of trivial problem. People always see me as the brave and strong girl, but why I cant overcome this kind of problem? I know I can, but I just havent risen up yet.

I'll be leaving Bogor and then live in Jogjakarta in a moment. I hope I can open a new page of mylife there. I want to wipe away all bad memories I've got here, and who knows I can find my truly prince there, just like he said. Hei, I'm almost 18, it's time for me to start feeling a true love. I think I have a right to feel it. I like the idea of growing up, I like the fact that I'm gonna be a college student because my passion to pursue and achieve my dream job is soo big, I'm ready to pursue it, I was born to achieve it. Amiiin. And to make it come true, just like I wrote in my Worthless vs Useless entry, I have to struggle very hard, cuz hoping is never enough. And one of the actions of struggling is being strong. yes, I know my path will be very windy and rocky. Nothing is smooth for me, I'm sure of that because I've felt that so many times. lol.

How can I be strong if the fact is I've fallen very hard just because I'm broken heart? Hahahahaha. u know what, everytime I think of that question, it adds more courage to my heart and my mind, and it makes me believe that he is not worth it.and it's better. it's better for me to think that he's not worth it rather than staying stuck on him. :D I'm strong, and will be stronger and stronger, just like this lyrics "When I'm older, I will be stronger. they'll call me freedom, just like a wavin' flag..." sounds familiar, right???

Gotta go. I hope this entry can inspire u to be a strong girl. "Big girls dont cry!!!"
:)

Worthless vs Useless

It’s raining heavily outside, what a windy day (I wrote this entry at 5, but posted it just now ). Maybe my journey to the future will be as this windy. But I have not even started yet, not yet. I’ve indeed done my high school, but finishing high school means I begin another chapter of my life.

Hmm.. I'm sorry 4 abandoning and neglecting this blog for quite long time. You know I dont always have an interesting story to tell everyday, specially because I'm on a long holiday now. Hey, but it doesn't mean I'm spending this holiday by crouching hopelessly at home, doing nothing. Lol. Sometimes I come out and hang out with my friends, but just not everyday. Cuz yeah.. you know, some of my friends have already started the college.

Making amends, and as a proof that I still seriously care and love this blog, I'd post a long entry. something related to life, even it's very related. something psychological which really exists in our life. What is it??


"I believe each person was born with different objectives, and they were made to create difference, there are no worthless people in this world, even the disabled or mentally ill ones. Yes, there are no worthless people in this world, but there are some who are useless.

What’s the difference between worthless and useless? If somebody say that we’re worthless, it means he has humiliated our primary right, human right. Human right is the most fundamental element of an individual, where the right that he has is not questionable anymore, where the right he has can’t be broken by any laws or arguments.

We are living creatures; of course we are precious and worth it. We are God’s creation; thus we deserve to get protection and recognition. That’s why we’re precious; we deserve to live, because we’re living things. And for this reason, there’s no worthless person in the world.

Useless. Becoming useless isn’t somebody’s fault. It’s not our friends’ fault, or our teachers’ fault. It’s ours. We’re made with a lot of great things that can help us make a contribution to something we’re fond of. There’s nothing perfect, I know that. But there’s nobody who forces the others to be always good at anything and anytime, too. That’s why we often hear word “tolerance”. We can take a badminton athlete as one example. He can run fast, he has quick responses and reflects, good backhand or forehand. But we never know that outside the field he often gets difficulty in solving math’s problems or gets trapped in dead end when he’s asked to make a poetry..

So, if we do have a lot of marvelous things and talents, why there are still many people who end up in jail or rehabilitation center or in the street? It’s because they don’t use their options wisely. Options? Yes, Options. People always have options, they are simple :

What do you want yourself to be in the future? A. Success individual B. Failed individual.
Of course, you will choose A. So will I. That is everyone’s hope, to be successful.
Hoping is easy, but making it come true is not as easy as it sounds. We have to struggle very hard, and sometimes we have to sacrifice and make a hard decision, but those are just parts of our journey. I can’t say that I’ve managed to finish my journey beautifully, but at least I begin to understand several things about this life.
People tend to be trapped in themselves. What makes them fail, or worst, useless, is they always take too lightly anything. They count on somebody else, not themselves. They depend on another people’s help. They want to be success but they don’t want to work. They also always blame destiny for their disability, while we all know that God has said, “We will not alter people’s condition until they alter it by themselves”. They are supposed to know that their condition still can be changed and fixed.
Being useless is a shame, a big shame. Aren’t we embarrassed of ourselves if all we can do is only becoming government’s burden and getting another people in trouble?"




So, what do u think?? Do u agree with me? do you think at the same way like me? of course we have different opinions, it's okay. but I just try to convey mine. Hope u all can understand them very well.

Farewell.

Broken Heart-FIFA-Jogjakarta

I'm broken heart, yes that's the reason why I havent showed up for more than 2 weeks. I'm sad, I just lost someone I really care of. well, I believe I dont "lose" him, cuz it was me the one who asked him to go away. he cared of me, too. I never declared my feeling to him, while he had done that twice. but I knew he knew that I loved him, and until now, honest to say, I still cant completely forget him.

I'm not even sure that he's still remembering me now. I dont even know that he still loves me. Hahaha. i dont care, cuz even if I care, there's nothing I can do beside trying to recover myself from this heartache.
why am I turning to be this melancholy? if my sister reads this, she'll laugh at me. hahaha. but i keep posting this with a hope that "he" will visit my blog someday.

I've blocked him from one of my social networks. i didnt want that, but he asked me to do it. it hurt me, why? but somehow I really did it.

many things happened during my absence. I cant tell u one by one cuz I cant remember them all. Funny me. Fortunately FIFA World Cup was there helping me to get through all the nights. congratulation for Spain, though my real favorit team is Brazil, but Spain was not bad. :D

So many days have passed. and now it's been mid of July. it means I'll move to Jogja in less than a month. Jogjakarta, yes, I'll be far away from home, wandering in strange city (not really strange) to gain knowledge. I will study hard, and I have to cuz I want to get scholarship to study abroad. it's only me left in my family who has never felt how schooling abroad is like.

Separated :(

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Boy I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Boy you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Short Entry

I'm baaackk!! hey.. long time no post.. what do you feel? you miss me? [I'm totally exaggerating]. Lol

I miss my blog so much, I miss my activity to be a story teller. Last entry I posted was on May 25th and I even had no idea why I didn't post again aftermath. But the most important is I'm here now. I'm just gonna make a short entry, cuz telling the truth, I dont have a right mood to post long entry these days. But I'll try to keep sharing my activities with you.

So, the point is, I just got back from Jogja this morning. It was a fascinating journey, and I began to learn the route that most probably will be walked on by me later when I've settled down there. I took train to there, and stayed for 2 days 1 night. I saw my dormitory and I was terrificly satisfied. I did the trip together with my friend, Ia. Nice to go with her.

See ya. We'll catch up again later. :D

Farewell Ceremony

It's over.
Senior high is over.
we had our farewell ceremony today. [actually, it was not a ceremony, it was more like a party. but i think it's kinda pathetic if I mention an emotional moment as a "party", right?]

We all wore "kebaya", we put on some make-up, dressed up beautifully. my friends were all good looking, they were beautiful and handsome. I wish I could upload our photos here, but you know, uploading photos in my notebook will take a very long time, i'm still waiting till my mom buy me a new one. Just in a moment.. :D

I wore high heels, 7cm. it tortured me so much. I felt pain in all my toes and I was so weary holding my own weight.. I dont want to wear shoes whose heels are more than 5 cm anymore! that would be my l-a-s-t time.
Tell you the truth, I expected a moment in which we all would cry. shaking hands each other, with teachers or friends, with "Hymne Guru" song played as the backsound. but that was not happening. the ceremony went on with no touching moments. the core event was the certificate handover to the students. students were called one by one, went up to the stage, be handed the certificate by each house teacher, then went down again. that was the core event. and after that, the event was continued with entertainment thingy. dance performance, singing performance, and so on and so on. I thought, what?? Is it a wedding reception?

Anyway, I dont want to waste my energy just to think about that. I really wanted to spend that memorable day with my friends, but considering the pain I felt in my toes, finally I decided to go home immediately after the event over. I gave a time to take pictures with my first grade students, and the third grade ones, of course. How could I skip a chance to eternalize that memorable day??

Dear all my friends, now I can only say that I will always pray for you, guys. I always pray for your best. Hopefully you all can reach your dream, get what you have been dreaming, and we meet in the future with smile, telling our each success and accomplishment.. Amiiin..


Love you..

College.. oh College..

Haiii.. Ooo my God. Long time no see!! How are you all?? Apparently I've broken my promise to post more often and more frequently.. and it means I have to apologize, right?? Okaay, please forgive me.. :D

Honestly, I have nothing to tell, except.. I've made up my mind to choose UGM instead of UI. I dont want to tell why, cuz I myself think that the reason is ridiculous and not strong enough. Although it's heavy, but i believe that it's the best for me, and for my parents.

I almost cried when I decided that. or maybe I already cried. I want UI soo bad, who doesn't?? It's the most wanted university in Indonesia, located near the heart of the country. But it seems that God has another plan for me. Let's keep thinking positive, okey??

So, college will begin on August, but I have to go to Jogja this June to have toefl test. By the way, I'll live in Jogja in dormitory. Sounds very cool. :D


Ciao!

SURPRISES

Now I believe that life is full of surprises.. Before this, I had never got a really surprising surprise, maybe there had been some, but none of them was as surprising as this. Hecck.. What am I talking about?? I think I mention word "surprise" and "surprising" too much.

I thought my happines was already over after the UGM test announcement. but in fact, there is still another one. and I dont get that. Why me?

Guess what, I'm accepeted at University of Indonesia.. Faculty of Law, too. Damnn.. I know, I know.. it's supposed to be a good news for me. I mean, look, more than 50.000 students in all parts of Indonesia would kill for a seat in that university. But, why I say "damn"?
I've been accepted at UGM. Gadjah Mada University. That's a prestigious university, too, in Indonesia. With the same faculty, Faculty of law. And I wish I wasn't accepted at UI because by that, I dont need to be confused, to feel my faith shaken, to regret anything that I've got before. Both of them are like a diamond. They are like Yamaha and Ducati in MotoGP. They are like Ferrari and McLaren in F1. They are like Noriyuki Haga and Ben Spies in Superbike [though I know Ben Spies has moved to MotoGP). Hahaha. That's a ridiculous parable.

However, God must have given this for a reason. Maybe He wants to test me, how will I make a decision?? Am I mature or not, do I think from all sides..?

Gotta go for a while.


***


I'm back. my mom got an urgent business, she had to use the laptop.

Back to our discussion (discussion??). The point is, UI and UGM are good. They're great, the top universities in Indonesia. And I want them both. Lol. :D

Speaking the quality of Law Faculty, UI is better than UGM. but it doesn't mean Law Faculty of UGM is bad. No, no. But we all know, UI is a bit more.. more.. urban?? The location, the custom, the environment.. People also know "Yellow Jacket" more than "Pale Brown Jacket" Wait, wait.. Why... Why am I talking about UI now?? I dont mean to compare them. They're both good.

But the real problem is, my mom has paid the entrance fee, etc of UGM. It's more than 12 million rupiahs, and I cant bring myself to waste that much money. No, no. If I leave UGM, my mom will have to spend more money. I dont wanna Mom spend more money.
So, what am I supposed to do? I've done shalat istikharah, and in my dad's book, I read "the tendency that you get between your 2 options, Insya Allah, it's the best for you". And I'm waiting for that, cuz until now, I'm still thinking about both universities equally.

The Time of My Life

I've been waiting for my dreams to turn into something I could believe in
And looking for that magic rainbow on the horizon
I couldn't see it
Until I let go. Gave in to love and watched all the bitternes burn
Now I'm coming alive.

Body and soul and feeling my world start to run
And I'll taste every moment and live it out loud.
I know this the time, this is the time to be more than a name
or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time.. of my life

Holding onto things that vanished into the air. left me in pieces.
But now I'm rising from the ashes, finding my wings
And all that I need was there all along within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

Spread Your Wings, Fly as High as Possible!

I'm soo happy today!! I'm so happy for my friends. My three incredible friends. Nira, Helda, Yudis. congratulation guys, you are officially collegers now. :D
yeaaah, today the result of UNPAD test was announced. and they're all accepted. I dont know why, but I'm also happy for them. Almost all my friends have already had a university....
yeah, some of them haven't. but that's not a problem. Their time will come, maybe not now. maybe it's just a little suprise prepared by God for them. you know, a relief and happiness in last seconds.. :D
you know what, maturity always grows every second. maybe its speed on people is different, but one for sure is, it always grows. I know mine is growing soo slowly, slower than people in general. but I feel like there's something harsh in my heart that is dissolving. and things which I considered as trivial or melancholy things now begin to be felt as the reality these days. I used to think that high school is boring and I always wanted to go to college asap. But when I'm here now, one step left to the college gate, I cant help to keep looking back. I cant hold myself for not wishing to study at the same college with all my friends. but of course I know, that's not happening. it's time for us to find our identity, to spread our wings, to wander about, and to reach our dream. and I'll be very selfish if I cant let them go..

Maybe I'll write down the names of people who have got university in my class:

-Arti : Bogor Agricultural University
-Itha : Bogor Agricultural University
-Suwarti : Bogor Agricultural University
-Fatma : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Wanti : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Aje : Jenderal Soedirman University
-Afthon : Gadjah Mada University
-Iqbal : Gadjah Mada University
-Me (Aulia) : Gadjah Mada University
-Nira : Padjajaran University
-Yudis : Padjajaran University
-Helda : Padjajaran University

there are 11 persons, while the students in my class are 39. still 28 people haven't got a seat at university. but the university entrance season is not over yet. there are still many chances. I always pray for them.


Now.. it's time for myself to spread my wings and fly. as high as possible. so I will be very close to my dream. you know what are my dreams?? Yeaaah. to become a professional diplomat and a minister of my country. Amiiiin..

What a Hot Day!!

What a boring day. What a hot day. Oooo my God. What a boring and hot day.

I went to school this morning, just to meet my friends, stayed there only for 3 hours. nothing to do. yeah, I gave the book I donate to my school library, but that's all. then I went to canteen, meet my friends, [Goooshh.. I miss them all soo bad. It's hard just to gather around with them now, cuz we have no more routines there, u know, we've graduated.] Some of my friens intended to go to cinema and watch Iron Man, but I couldnt go with them. It was all because the money in the wallet. What a pity.. While actually I really wished I could have gone with them, I mean, come on.. some of them will start the college at the end of June.. And the others will be busy to take care of university administration. You know what.. it feels like..like.. hm.. how to say it..?? I'm grateful.. very grateful.. cuz I've been accepted at UGM, but my happiness.. why cant it be allied with my other friends' happiness?? I am the only one student in my class who succeeded in UGM test. I'm very thankful, but I want to be with them!! Why none of them succeeded, too?

Whooosaah.. Relax.. It's because of the hot wheater outside. It's dry season in Indonesia now.

By the way, I must remember that God always has a plan behind anything. behind the tears, the failure, or rejection. they'll get better university. Amiiin.

Talking about college, I've started to learn English again since last Sunday [I've told you about TOEFL test in my future campus, right?]. I bought a TOEFL pratice book, and so far, it helps a lot! it reminds me to some grammatical problems which are very simple but very forgettable and difficult, too. Lol. For example, noun phrase, a few, few, a little, little.
I asked some of my friends whom I think are good in English about it at school today, but it seemed that they had forgotten it, too. :D
So maybe I'll come to my school again and meet my English teacher.. It is very embarrasing, isn't?? How could.. I forget.. a trivial thing like noun phrase?? :(
I must go to school tomorrow.

It's really hot today. Oooow my God.. I feel like I'm toasted in my own house. *too much*


I want to shower now. Babayyy....

A Doctor Without Borders

Guys, have you ever read a novel which successfully makes you feel like u are in that story? Like you become the third person in the story, then you imagine specifically anything the author describes, so it's like you are watching a movie??
I have. I have just read a novel like that. the novel's title is A Doctor Without Borders.

The novel tells about an emergency doctor from Canada who joined a Swiss NGOs whose mission is to send volunteers to isolated places or countries. well, not always isolated, sometimes some areas which are in the middle of war. the doctor's name is James Maskalyk, and he's the author of that novel, so, the novel is based on true story.
dr James went to Sudan, more precisely Abyei. there was a civil war on progress in Sudan, and maybe there is still now. Abyei is one of the towns that's claimed by both of militan which are on the war. North and South militan.
dr James served as a doctor in the only existing hospital in Abyei. The hospital itself wasnt supported with complete facilities or sufficient medicines and equipments.

dr james was placed in Abyei for 6 months. He always perpetuated everything that happened in there on his blog. I cant tell you the blog's name. you can just go googling and type word "six months in sudan", then you'll find it.
anyway, the point is.. in the novel, dr James told everything.. the condition of Abyei and the people, the condition of his and the other volunteers' hunt, the relationship between him and his teammates or the Abyei people. he also told bluntly how he tried to cure and take care of sick people. the failure, the death, the relief, all kind of sensations. How he did a small operation, how hard he tried to put a breathing tube into a child's throat, to help the child breathe more easily.

You know, it's one of the most amazing novel to me. It uses blunt sentences, and sometimes poetic. dr James described what he saw and felt and experienced very well. it feels like I'm pulled into that story. it feels like I stand right beside the author and follow the author anywhere he goes. it feels like I become the third eye of the author.
what's more amazing is.. when I almost finished reading the novel, it felt like I was the one who said good bye to all components in the story, the people, the hunts, the heat, the hospital, and dr James's teammates. I felt the sadness that dr James felt when he was leaving. i know it sounds excessive, but that's what I feel.
I really want to read the novel once again, cuz goood. it's amazing.

maybe this novels has helped me to find my real favorite kinds of books. I'll just buy a touching and inspiring novel like A Doctor Without Borders, you know, usually it's a kind of novel based on true story..

:D

I gotta go shower.. Bye.. have a nice weekend. :D

May Day, May Day

Good morning.. So, it's May already, huh? Wow. I cant feel how fast the time has passed. But one for sure is, my new life as a university student is closer ..! :D
By the way, I apologize bcuz I didnt post too much in April. it was a hectic month, and I felt that my energy was drained very bad. there were many things to do, about university administration, school pratical test.. Huft..
But I think I've got more spare times now. I probably will only go to school twice in a week. just to get graduation certificate or give stamp of three fingers.
yet it makes me confused also. I really dont know what to do at home, there's a big prossibility I'll spend a whole one day by watching TV, having a snack, sleeping, over and over and over. Yeah, so it seems that May will make me gain more and more weight, right??

By the way, I seriously have to start learning English again. In June, I'll get TOEFL test in my campus. If my TOEFL score doesnt reach 500, I have to add English to my SKS and I dont like that. I was good in English, but am I still?? dont know. I still write many things in English but if I meet grammar problems, I dont know if I'll be able to solve them as good as I used to. I dont know if I still have the ancient ability, cuz it's been a long time since I practice solving English test.. Huft.. Gotta buy the practice book soon.


Ehhm.. I promise, wholeheartedly I'll post more frequently and more often from now on. Cuz I want to have more people read it.
By the way, thank you for my new reader, Carissa. it's nice to know someone reads the story I published.

Farewell.

Hachiko

Buddies, I've got my UN result... Well, my average score doesn't reach 9, but I'm still grateful since there are still many unfortuned students out there who didn't pass at all.
here are the scores:

Bahasa Indonesia : 8,2
Math : 8,5
English : 9,4
Chemistry : 8,0
Physics : 9,5
Biology : 9,25

Total score: 52,85.
Average score: 8,8..
It's pretty satisfying, isn't it??
I nearly dont care about the scores, what I had been worrying is whether I pass or not. I dont care if my all my scores are 6 or 7, as long as, it fills the standar to graduate. lol.
Okay, enough talking about that..


Yesterday I went to cinema with my friends. Miranti, Mutia, Fina, and Thume. We watched Hachiko. Have you watched it?? I think it's one of the most touching movie I've ever watched. The faithfulness given by a super briliant dog to its master, makes me touched. I could feel my tears falling from my eyes. Lol. it was ridiculous.. was I crying?? Yes, I was. I think the chemistry between the dog and Richard Gere was almost perfect.

The movie tells about a dog, a kind of Akita, Japanese Dog, which was accidentally found by a Prof. Parker Wilson when it was wandering in a train station. Then the Professor took it, trying to turn it back to its owner, but noone made a report. so, the Professor decided to let it stay at his home, while actually his wife, Catie Wilson, didn't like the idea of keeping a dog.. or pet.
The days then changed. still noone claimed the dog as his or her pet. meanwhile the relationship between the professor and the dog became stronger day by day. and then Professor found the dog's name from its necklace, Hachi. Catie who saw this touching moment finally decided to keep Hachi, too, because she didnt have the heart to separate her husband from that lovely dog. So when a family made a call and said they wanted to keep Hachi, Catie lied by saying that the dog had already been taken. :D

When Hachi had grown up, it always accompanied the Professor to the train station everytime when he went to work at 08.30 am, then waited in the front of the station door when the Professor got back from work at 05.00pm. it'd been a routine. everyday.. never no. :D
suddenly a miserable unwanted happening happened. When he was lecturing, Professor got a kind of heart attack and he passed away. so he never made it to come home since that. But Hachiko, which had been told so many times that the Professor was never coming back, kept waiting and waiting in the train station with the same time.. 08.30 am and 05.00 pm for the next 9 years until it died.. :(


It is a true story, happened in Japan, the real train station is Shibuya train station. and now people memorize Hachiko as the faithful dog by making and displaying its statue right in the place where Hachiko usually sat and waited for his master.
Oh my God.. how could there was a dog as that briliant?? I wish I could have one pet like that. But me, keeping a pet, that is not a good idea..

well, it sounds very interesting movie, right?? So, go, watch it!

Gotta go. I have to take a bath, I'm going to Botani Square today..

The Official Annoucement of UN :D

I shall thank to everyone, and every single thing around me, cuz because of them, because of their support, I could reach one of my biggest dreams. And special to my mom, she's the first reason why I did those efforts.. :D

Well, tomorrow the result of UN will be announced. Honesly, I'm afraid and nervous, I'm afraid that I dont pass, but I may not think like that. Because if I think so, that's the one which will happen. It's called Placebo. so, we have to be careful in thinking or wishing something. Who knows it turns to be prayer and then the angels deliever it to God and the God makes it come true?? Who will be responsible? Of course, we will. cuz we are the ones who wish for it, because we cant cast our fear away.

Me as an ordinary human, of course feel afraid or fear. Who doesn't?? Let me explain the situation. If I dont pass UN, it means my success of passing the UGM test will be useless. i wont be able to give my graduation certificate on time. If I dont pass, it means I have to get remidial in May, and it means my certificate will be given in the late of June. and at that time, the deadline for new students to deliver their graduation certificate must have been closed. :(


So right now I pray to God so profoundly.. "Hopefully all the third students of 2009/2010 academic year pass UN, without having to do remidial tests.." Amiiin..

Just Wanna Say Hello

Fiuhh.. Hi everyone..!! How are you all?? I guess I have to apologize because AGAIN.. I neglected this blog.
I never meant to do that, seriously.. :D But I just thought that I had nothing to tell, except the last "gift" given by God, which is, I'm accepted at UGM!! That's the first.. and probably the last good news I've got this week.

Well, last Tuesday I went to Jogja. By myself! My mom only dropped me off at Damri Bus Terminal and next I wandered in the airport by myself. And of course I did it by myself, too to get home. went to the check in desk, paid the airport tax, waited in the lobby, walked onto the plan.. It was awesome!! I mean.. hellooo.. I'm no longer a senior highs student in a moment, okay?? Nope..nope.. I may not be bigheaded. The official graduation hasnt been announced, it'll be done on next Monday. I'm so nervous!! Please God, let all students in my school, SMA Negeri 6 Bogor, pass the national exam, so we, us can continue or study to universities with no troubles.. Ammin..

I really trully want to share the whole story during my trip in Jogja. But once again, I'm sorry, I cant find the right mood to type long words for now.. Maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or the day after the day after tomorrow, or maybe.. I dont know!! :D

Got my eyes heavy.. We'll catch up later.. See youu.. D

I'm a UGM-Law Faculty Student..

Long time no see... when was the last time I wrote?? I cant remember it.. but it must have been a very looong time. I missed this blog so much, but I couldnt do anything, I was so busy.. It was all about UAS n university entrance test..

Hmm. I've got a good news for you, guys.. I really truly good news..

I'm accepted at UGM!! Horraaay.. I'm accepted as Law Faculty student at UGM.. Law Faculty.. LAW!! It was my first choice and I'm accepted.. I succeeded, thank God, that is the most beautiful present ever although it wasn't my birthday.. But actually what makes me relieved is my success to make my mother smile, after an "incindent" happened between me and my d"d, she finally could smile.. Of course I never had a thought that I'd be accepted at Law Faculty, I mean, the competition for that faculty is soo tight..!! But God has had another plan for me, and I believe he gave me that destiny for a reason..

I love you, Mom, everything I've done is for you, and everything I will do in the future is for you..

and thanks to you who have prayed for me [although I'm sure non of you read this blog, lol]

A Wish To God

Dear The Creator of the day and the night
the sun and the moon
the sky and everything beneath it
the earth and its all fillings..

Please, help me to get my best future
Give me Your hand, shower me Your love, bless me with Your protection
Give me a miracle
Give me and my mom happiness, success, harmony, and a life with full of smile..
Give me something that can make my mom proud of me,
so she gives me her best smile..
so she thinks I'm not letting her down..

Dear The Protector of the nature..
The owner of all animals, plants, water, land, and wind..

On 17 April, please give us the good news..
a good news that will make me burst into her arms with smile..
then I say, "I made it! I made it!"
then I see her face, brigthened by a thousand colors of a beautiful flower..
please give us the moment, when I and my mom celebrate my success to be accepted at UGM.. University of Gadjah Mada.


Amiin..
Grant my wish, God... :D

I've Done the Test

Hiii, everyone, how are ya doing??
Now it's time for me to tell you how I did the UGM test. I cant say that it was easy, but I just think that I have no need to worry. I cant guarantee that my result will be soo amazing but I'll just keep praying and hoping for a miracle. Yeah, I will be very "dead" if I dont succeed, cuz all I have been thinking and am thinking is my mom.

You know, I just experienced an emotional moment. My mom got back home this afternoon from her business trip in Yogya and I saw her sleeping downstairs. I laid my body near her and heard her breath, and suddenly my tears fell uncontrolledly at the same time when my worst fear came to haunt me. My worst fear is.. "if after what my mom has done for me, all her sacrifices, only turn to be vain, cuz I'm not accepted, I dont know what to do. I dont know how to fix that, and I wont be able to imagine how dissapointed she will be.."

but then my worst fear went away and was replaced by something else.
"Thanks my mom, thank you for putting me in your first priority, thank you for your patience, your understanding, your tenderness, your love, your sacrifice.."

***

Anyway, the history and geography part was not very difficult, but in Basic Ability part, specially Bahasa Indonesia, I got difficulty cuz the type of the question was all in text form. I had to read a very long paragraph or wordings first, then the question was generally about the point of the paragraph or its pattern. How, I'm very weak at that, but I kept answering the questions.
Basic Math, I only did 6 questions, but maybe 3 of them are wrong. lol. They're wrong not because I couldnt count very well, but because I was very careless, hoooh, that's my worst "disease". Lol.
English, hmm.. it was so-so, in the middle between easy-difficult, I answered 19 questions and approximately I made 5-6 mistakes.. Huft, very far from my expectation, but everything can happen, cant it??

And in Academical Potency Test part I didn't answered all questions, but that was not on purpose. I didn't asnwered them cuz I ran out of the time. Mostly the other participants answered them all since there was no minus system for that part, but still, I couldnt asnwer them all, maybe I only managed to answer how..?? about 45 from 60 questions total??? But I still in my line that what I did was the best and right. Lol.


The test result will be annouced on April 17, I hope I will be accepted, Amiiin. Cuz if I really am, my mom will be very happy, and so will I.
[by the way, I'm a bit shy to tell you about my mom.. I think it was a little sloppy. *smile*]


Whoever you are, if you read this post, please pray for me, okay?? and hey, you, MY SISTER!! I know you always keep an eye on me and on this blog..! PRAY FOR ME..!

One Day Before The D-day

Horeeee,, UN is over!! Finally.. Finally.. My burden is a bit lifted up..!! But, hell yeah, remember there is still one more urgent test???

****

One day before the D-day, or precisely, 15 hours before the "war"!!!! Ooo my God, I'm so nervous.. I feel my palm sweating.. [too much!!]
the point is, what I will face or deal with tomorrow, is a matter of life and death, cuz if I dont succeed, I'll be dead. Not literally dead or not breathing anymore, but seeing my mom dissapointed, or sad, that's what is called "DEAD".

I dont think that the time for me to study or to prepare the "tomorrow's war" is enough. It's VERY NOT ENOUGH!! There are still many materials or chapters that I dont understand, but what can I do?? I cant pospone the test schedule. And what makes me more worried is that my friends, who are my competitors, too, seem very ready and confident. and that's not good, cuz that only contracts my spirit..!! Huffttt..


But, dont worry, I wont give in. Lol. As long as I still exist in this world, I wont quit, cuz I'm NOT a QUITER.
Wish me luck. the test will start at 10 am and finish at 4 pm. My venue is at SMPN 8 South Tangerang.
Owya, before I forget, allow me to give an erratum. The number of participants of tomorrow's test is more than 20.000 students! not only 5.000! lol.


Good bye. I gotta go studying..

UGM's Test

Good afternoon. I [I mean, me with the other 3rd grade students] had physics exam today. but to me, it wasn't bad. it wasn't as bad as the previous one, the one that I had on Pre-UN. So, I'm certainly happy, moreover, if I remember that tomorrow is the last day of UN.. Freedooom!!!

YET.. Considering that I HAVEN'T GOT a university until now, I have to wake up very soon, and realize that my way is stil looong.. long and long. and the effort I shall afford is not finished yet. And I may not give up cuz I was just informed that the UGM's participants are more than 5000..!! Can you imagine that?? How tight the competitio will be???

On my facebook, I found a LOTS.. A lots of my friends sharing a status, in which they said how nervous they were in welcoming UGM test, how huge their hope to be accepted at UGM, and they also mentioned their choosen faculties or departments in UGM, well, the point is, they said ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, about UGM test,,

I was shaking for a while, and got trembled for about few seconds, but then I shooke my head and encourage myself. "Yes, I can do it!" Cuz my mom has been willing to fast for me, cuz my mom has been willing to re-schedule all her plans during my test week, cuz my dad has reminded me to keep reading Al Qur'an and to go doing shalat tahajud every night. Shortly, because my parents support me strongly, so.. I must be stronger than them, right???!! :D

Hey, gotta go. Have to do shalat maghrib in a moment.
wish me luccck!!


With love,
aulia

I'm facing UN

I'm really sorry guys.. It's been very a long time I didn't post anything on this blog. this is because I'm facing national exam or UN right now. I had to study, or even, I still have to study.
the UN has begun since last Monday, and it will end up on Friday. Guys, I really need you to pray for me cuz this is one of the most determining time. This test will determine my future and if I fail in this test, it means that I wont be able to go to college even if I've been accepted.

During my 2 weeks absence, I had many sad and/or happy things, but I cant tell you now, or maybe, I cant tell you at all. Most of them are bad to me although actually they help me to be a better person. but I just dont wanna talk about it.

Guys, I really have to go.
I'll post again very soon.



Btw, one day after UN is over, I'll go to Tangerang to do UGM test. Wish me luck. Pray for me so I can be accepted there, specially in English Lit Department. Amiin..

Shall I Burn The Book?

Hi guys, long time no see. How are you all doing?
Guys, sometimes I hate myself. and right now, I'm HATING my self sooo deeply.
I just bought a book last afternoon but then I realized that it's been useless to buy book now since the UGM entrance will be held in not more than 2 weeks. Hahahaha. i really want to burn that book. But I hold it, who knows that I can memorize its materials in one week?

What makes me more regret is, that its contain cant be understood very well. it's too simple, I know it's just a summary but I mean.. Pleaaaseee,, they're too short!
Oooh, I really want to burn that book.

Shall I burn that book??

My Terrible Scores.. Yayayayap

Hi friends, I have to share this now if I want to get it shared, cuz I dont know if I'll find my mood tonight since I think I'll be sleeping for very long. hahahahaha.
Shortly I'm just gonna tell you that some of the Pra UN subjects' scores have been annoucend, and so far, I still pass.
Here they are, I'll just show them bluntly and I dont care whether you guys will laugh at me after that, but just want you to know that my scores are pretty good compared to my another friends' althought they're not the best. Hahahaha.

Chemistry: 5,5
Math : 7,00
Physics : 4.25

What, you dont think they aren't good scores?? Of course, they're not! But it's been a common thing guys, but I cant tell you why. It'll just hit my own country's face if I tell it. Lol
Sorry, I gotta go. I post it at school library and I have to come home now, I've got private course..

Damn physics!!

Do you guys now where I am now?? I'm in my school library..!! I just went out from the class and right now me and my friend, feby, are very calm, focusing our eyes onto the computer LCD, and with our fingers dancing.. This is new for me, well, it's not my first time going on-line by school library's computer, but it's my irst time posting on blog by it.

Today I had physics and English exams. Absolutely it means I had a bad day, yes, due to that physics test.. I carefully read the questions, then I went, "What the heccckkk??? These problems are just as difficult as the previous test's, no, in fact, these problems are sooo much more difficult..!! Ooo my gooosh!! However, I didnt want to embarrase myself by being so miserable because of that, if I cant solve them, then so what?? Then I just decided to answer them, didn't care if I had to do it perfunctorily.

The second test is English. It was not a problem, I cant be sure that I'll get very good score,though,cuz I was so hungry when doing that so my mind was always insisting to finish the test and go to the canteen.

Gotta go.. I'll edit this post at home, my turn is over...

***

Hi, I've come back. it's 8pm right now and I still cant move my body or my brain to study math. hell yah, tomorrow I'll just come to the school earlier than I ever did in my whole school life and ask my friend to teach me, and I'll just study from the previous test.
I really dont have any idea how this test's result will be. I dont think I've made a significant progress cuz everytime I see a physics problem, suddenly all formulas or concepts that I've been trying to fully comprehend just BOOM! Vanish.
Hahaha. But I think I'm not alone, at least all my friends also think that physics is very... horror. and my last test's physics score was not the worst among all students although it didn't pass the standar.. :D
A
By the way, guess what?? My mom suddenly suggested me to take Economy and Development Studies department at IPB for my college, and she said who knows I could be a continuer of Mrs. Sri Mulyani, our present Minister of Finance. HAhahaahhahaa. That's nearly impossible, no, even, it's certainly impossible. I'm indeed interested in Economy, but studying in IPB, hummmh.. I dont think it will be a right decision to me.

This is the departments that I really want to go for my college:
-International Relation
-English Lit
-Public Health
-Economy and Development Studies [but perhaps not in IPB???]..

Hopefully one of them is my destiny. Amiiin..

Inkheart and The Magician..

Well, actually, I dont know what shall I write.. I have nothing to share, cuz I'm lazy to share for now. Lol. But, I just miss my blog, and it makes me have to write down something.. Hmm.. what is the best topic??

maybe I'm just gonna talk about my huge interest in reading, I know that almost everyone in this world likes to read, but I'm not sure that their interest is as much as mine. what's more is, my passion to read has been increasing these days, coming in the wrong time cuz I have to prepare for my final test [really.. truly final. the last!] and university entrance. I like any kind of books as long as it attracts me, but my favorite is novel. well, it's not all kind of novels I like. I dont like chick-lit or teenlit, cuz for me those kind of novels only have a lack of knowledge and message. But it doesn't mean I never touch those novels, either. Sometimes I get my brain smoky caused by the mounting tests or homeworks or projects so I need some kind of "wild and naughty" novels as my escapement. In addition, in some novels, their main characters have almost the same problems with me. for example, they have problem with their self-confidence caused by their physical appearance or they have a problem with themselves because they think that there is noone loves them in the way they are, whereas their prince is just hiding somewhere waiting to give them surprise. :D But no, heiii.. Dont get me wrong. I DONT have any problem with my physical appearance, no, I just.. yeah, sometimes a girl wants to be perfect, with tall, thin body, and bright skin, right?? that shadow comes haunting me sometimes, and I cant help it. Neverthless, I've been very grateful for what I have now. D

Back to the topic.. Right now I'm after two novels but apparently I cant buy them in the near time because my expenses is soo large lately. Yeah, of course I'm still given pocket money by my mom but I cant only count on it for my private's need or want, like buying novels, going to cinema, or even just window-shopping with my friends. I have to save my money if I want to buy the novels cuz their price is pretty expensive. What are those novels?? Those novels are Inkheart and The Magician. Inkheart has been filmed, it was starred by Brendan Fraser and Paul Bettany [I loooove this guy so much, maybe I'm gonna talk about him another time], but I didn't have a chance to watch it in cinema, I planned to buy the dvd but my dvd player is broken. Huuuaaaahhh.. And the other one is The Magician, it's the second serie of trilogy novels, The Alchemist, The Magician, The Sorcerer, the novels tell about a life of a renowned alchemist in his time, Nicolas Flamel, in protecting and trying to get back a sacred hand written book made by yellow copper [Abraham the Mage book] which was snatched by his worst enemy, Dr. John Dee. I've read the first serie, The Alchemist, and I give all my thumbs..! Four thumbs up..! And I'm really addicted to read the others now..

Ooooh, I want to buy and READ those novels soo bad, but I still have to save my pocket money for them.. Is there anyone who wants to buy them for me..?? I'll be very glad to accept.. :D

How To Vanish Hatred In Our Heart??

There are many sucks people in this world. Sometimes, we think that our bestfriend sucks. We will never be able to get away from sucks people. Okay, maybe "sucks" is word that is too harsh, "annoying" may become the best term for "people who always make us pissed of".. :D

If we keep thinking or questioning, "how to repay ther evil deeds??", we will never be capable of moving on or living in peace. We have to change the question into, "how to vanish the hatred in our heart?? And reduce our pride to say sorry first?"
that's the correct questions.

I myself honestly am not be able to fight off my hatred from my heart yet, but I know exactly what makes me cant do that. It's only caused by an excessive pride and I have to stop being like that soon. I always try hard not to show my dislike to the person I dont like everytime I meet him/her, but I always fail. My ability to smile feels like dissapear in one second. Lol. :D
so, right now I'm doing a therapy. A therapy for forgiving people, and for being willing to apologize first. Wish me luck, okay??

My Condolence

Hai, Good evening.. Sorry for not posting for 2 days. My mom took the modem so I couldn't connect to the internet.. :D
By the way, two days ago my mom celebrated her 50th birthday. Wow, she's sooo old now! She's a half of century.. hahaha. but she still looks young, I think. She's pretty.. Hmm.. Sorry I cant give you any present, mom, I dont have any money..! lol. :D Besides, my mom was in Yogyakarta at that time so I and De Elang could only congratulate her via phone. Hopefully you'll always be under Allah's love, protection, mercy. Hopefully you'll be always healthy, wealthy, and happy. Amiiin.. You are such a great, great, great woman I've ever met. :D

Okay, now it's time for me to deliver my condolence for my sisters and brothers in Chile. The 8,8 SR earthquake shook Santiago, Chile, on Saturday morning, and until now there have been more than 100 people who have been found dead. But the worse is, it's estimated that there are still 200 people trapped or burried below the ruins. Oh God, the earthquake's magnitude was stronger than in Padang's, so I can imagine how deep the grief that the people of Chile feel. I hope there are no more victims, and there will be no aftershocks, and there will be no tsunami. Amin..


By the way, UN is closer now. It will be held in 3 weeks..! Oh my God, I'm soo nervous and worried.. I hope I can pass, I want to pass. Amiiin. Please anyone who reads this, pray for me,key??? :D

Hot Issue

Good afternoon everyone.. Before I start my story, I'd like to say that my deep sorry for the victims of landslide in Ciwidey, Bandung. I just watched news on TV, and it said that it's estimated there are still 20 people missing.. I hope all the left families are given patience and the silver lining of this natural disaster. Amin..

Right now I really want to talk about Century Case (Gate). Century Gate has been the hot issue in our lovely country for more than 6 months. It says that the Vice President [who was the former Bank of Indonesia Governor], Mr Boediono, and the Secretary of The Treasury, Mrs. Sri Mulyani conducted offense by giving The Century Bank bail out. They gave Century Bank about 7,2 million rupiahs to avoid crisis.

We all know that the Pansus Century's members have been working very hard to reveal the truth. But personally, I support Boediono and Mrs Sri Mulyani. I believe their integrity and proffesionalism. They are very smart persons, and they must have done it only for Indonesia's good. Mrs Sri Mulyani has ascertained so many times that all she did was just for avoiding crisis. And I believe that, I think Boediono and Mrs Sri Mulyani are good persons. I remember my history teacher, Ms. Siti, told me and my friends about Mr Boediono. She said that she had a friend who worked in Bank of Indonesia, and she had been told by her friend that Mr Boediono was very charming and kind leader. Mr Boediono always brought lunch box prepared by his wife to the office, and he would have it together with his employess at the pantry. that is very sweet, right??

I privatly hope that those people are not trying to do impeachment to my [our] adorable Vice President and charismatic Finance Minister. I hope that what they are doing right now is not merely for political business. I hope they are not trying to sacrifice those 2 great state officials for their interest, or their party's interest.

Probably viewed from terms of law, what Mrs Sri Mulyani and Mr Boediono did was wrong. But if it's viewed from the side of conscience, their call to make bail out was right. I remember vividly what my economics teacher said to me. He is a law graduate who teaches economics. Sometimes holding a great position in a critical country like Indonesia gives an ultimate confusion. Even smart and succesful persons like Mr Boediono and Mrs Sri Mulyani can be confused to choose between using their conscience but breaking the law or stay in the constitutional law line but they can't avoid the crisis. Wooooahhh..

I think all politicians in Indonesia are great. They are smart, clever, well educated people. And I cant say that Mr Boediono or Mrs Sri Mulyani are not guilty [I dont understand about it at all] but I just wanna share my huge expectation on them. Hopefully what have been accused to them is not proven. Amiiiin.

Wants To Be Loved

Through ears, I wish I could hear your breath..

your footstep's sound, your beautiful voice..

Through eyes, I wish I could see your face,

your sweet smile, or your cute scowl..

Through words, I wish I could define what I feel,

the sweet things, the bitterness, and the happiness..

If you find your way back again to here..

To here, to the heart, which belongs to you..

Cuz this heart, wants to love,

and wants to be loved..

with all it's got..

If the door can be opened again,

widely, with you standing there

with your hands stretched.

with a huge smile displayed..

And I will pay everything for it

I will pay everything for it..

Cuz this heart is loving you,

Cuz this heart wants to be loved, with all it's got..

Coriolis Force

Yesterday I promised you an explanation of Coriolis Force. After searching in the internet, I could find some definition about it. There are:

1. A fictitious force used to explain a deflection in the path of a body moving in latitude relative to the earth when observed from the earth. The deflection (Coriolis effect) is due to the earth's rotation and is to the east when the motion is towards a pole.

2. Velocity-dependent pseudo force which is mathematically used to describe the motion of bodies in rotating reference frames such as the Earth's surface. Bodies moving on the plane of rotation appear to experience a force, leftward if the rotation of the reference frame is clockwise, rightward if counterclockwise. Such motion gives rise to the Coriolis effect.

3.An apparent, rather than real, force which causes the deflection of moving objects, especially of air streams, through the rotation of the earth on its axis. It shows up, for example, in the movement of an air stream, relative to the rotating earth beneath it.

So, you can make the conclusion on your own way, cant you?? :D

Back to Geography

Good evening.. It's very cloudy outside, and lightning starts to light the sky.. woooow..
However, I think I've found my lost mood to continue giving information about WIND..!

Now, let me tell you about monsoon wind.

Monsoon Wind:
The occurence process of monsoon wind is strongly influenced by the presence of two continents, Asia and Australia, and two oceans, Hindia and Pacific. On January, the sun position is in The Tropic of Capricorn [garis balik selatan] which causes Australia to get maximum sun radiation, and because of that, the monsoon wind from Asia continent moves to Australia continent through Hindia Ocean. On June and July, Australia continent experiences winter and Asia land becomes the low air pressure center and causes the monsoon wind from Australia moves to Indonesia and some other countries.

There are also cyclone winds.
Cyclone Wind:
This breeze occurs if an area whose pressure is low is surrounded by an area whose pressure is high. by that, the air in the high pressure will flow to the low pressure area. In accordance with Boys Ballot law, the wind in the northern earth will turn right and the southern wind will turn left.

Anti-Cyclone Wind:
This breeze occures if an area whose pressure is maximum is surrouned by an area whose pressure is minimum. by that, the anti-cycline wind will whirl leaving the center. this wind is the reverse of cyclone wind.

Passat Wind:
This wind blows from subtropic area to the tropic area. this thing happens because subtropic area is the high pressure center while the tropic are is low pressure center. The passat wind which blows from north is called "North East Passat Wind" and the passat wind which blows from south is called "South East Passat Wind". When it reaches the equator, this wind experinces deflection caused by earth rotation, named Coriolis Force..

What is Coriolis Force?? Wait until the next post.... :D


Hopefully this post can be useful for you... :D

Being Hero For Yourself

We might have been very calmed all this time..
have never thought anything about the future..
while the times keep going on. And as soon we realize that we're closer to the 'crucial' time
when your friends, teachers, or even parents.. cant help you at all.
when their advices or guidances cant guarantee anything at all..

So, who the hell that can help you?
This worry makes us think.. Forces us to push away our hate.. and pushes us to become closer to our Creator.
Cuz this is the time, when it's not the President, or teacher, or Mayor, or Governor who decide whether we can be success or not. But this is up to our Creator.

We are full of sins. Even in some cases, we know that we're still doing sins, but we cant just finish it up. cuz we're still holding our dignity and prestige too hard..

So, what the hell that can help you to wipe those feelings??

In the night, wake up just for moments. Tears cant stop dropping from the eyes, when u're begging for mercy and bless.
Asking for a forgiveness for what u have done and did.
Asking for an understanding for what you are doing.

He never sleeps, and there's no late for us.. cuz no matter how great that you think you are, someday we will meet the turning point.
that makes us come back to the beginning.
when there's no other way for us to move on.
besides admitting that He's the best, the only Helper..

This is the fight between you and temptation. Faith is the fortress, and you are the troops.
fighting to defend it, so it wont topple down.
So, build you fortress as strong as you can.
Guard it with many powerful and competent troops..


It's time for you to become a hero for yourself..




-specially dedicated for myself, who is almost desperate to death, but finally get a kind of enlightenment..- :D

Long Time No See

Hi, guys.. I really.. really.. apologize for neglecting this blog for more than 2 weeks. I've got 2 reasons, first, I've been busy lately, having many homeworks, course activities, and another tasks. Huft.. and the second is, my internet connection got a litle disturbance, it couldn't work. That is a double fortune..! :D

Last post I was talking about wind, and I promised that I would explain the rests about it in the next post, but apparently I have to break my promise. Ouch, I'm sorry.. I really don't like breaking that, but since my condition can't support me, I have to delay it until I get the right time and mood. Lol.

A week ago I had Pra-UN test. Goood. The test was very horrible! I didn't study hard, so when I took a look at the question sheets, I could only take a deep breath and then answered it with my limited knowledge. hahahaha.

There are many things I really want to share, but it's already midnight. I have to wake up early tomorrow.

Babaaaaaay.. :D

Just Wanna Write Something. Not Important, though :D

Good evening. how was ur day? I hope u all had a great day, just like me.. lol. well, it was not as that great actually. it was so-so, but I'm still grateful for not having worse day than yesterday. :D

The official announcement of USMI IPB [Bogor Agricultural University] came out today. Well, i wasn't surprised at all since I had known that I wasnt accepted from my mom. Besides, since in the beginning, I never had an interest to study at IPB, I just feel that I won't fit there. I wont fit with its study focus. lol. So, I just took easy to the annoucement. Some of my friends who are not accepted got very sad.

Owya, I wanna share with you about my new interest. I just figured out one interesting subject. it's GEOGRAPHY..! Horray... based on the UGM try out result, I got the highest score in Geography, even, my geography's score beat my english's score..! hahaha. I indeed like geography. well, actually I started loving it 2 weeks ago, at the same time when the intensive program in my school started. My geography teacher is very funny, full of spirit, and expresive. she succesfully makes me interested to study it deeper. I like anything about wind, specially wind. to me, wind has unique characters. There are many kinds of wind. Wind can also divided based on different aspects. I love wind. I start to know the difference between monsoon, passat, etc..lol. And now I'm gonna browse and search any information about wind. :D

So, you want to know about wind?? Okay, I'll tell you..
What is wind?
Wind is a moving air caused by earth rotation and air pressure difference [from high pressure to low pressure]. Wind moves from a higher air pressure to lower air pressure, and from lower air temperature to higher air temperature.
Type of wind?
Wind is generally classified into 2 kinds. Local wind and monsoon wind.
Local wind itself is divided into 3 kinds, which are:
1. Land wind and sea wind, occur in the seashore.
Sea breeze occurs in the day since in the day the land receives heat faster than the sea does. this breeze blows from sea to land. And instead, land breeze happens in the night since in the night the land releases the heat faster than sea does. this breeze blows from land to sea.
2. Wind valley and mountain wind
At the afternoon, the air which is as it were trapped on the valley floor, heat faster than the air at the top of the mountain that is more open [free], then, the air flows from the valley to the top of the mountain and become the wind valley.
3. Falling Wind with Dry and Hot as Nature
Foehn wind or falling wind is a dry and hot weather located in Alpine mountainside. This sort of wind is common in Indonesia with the name of the wind Bahorok (Deli), wind Beetle (Cirebon), wind Gending in Pasuruan (East Java), and wind Brubu in South Sulawesi).

I will tell about the monsoon wind tomorrow. I gotta go studying now, before I get sleepy. Okay.. Gudnite everyone!

College Thingy

Hai.. Long time no post!! U all must be missing me, musn't you?? Hahahaha. Sorry, I got many things to do this week. Last week was a totally hectic day. Practice assignment, daily tests, try out. But I think I start to be able to adjust with that.

I really want to tell you this. I dont know why, but it feels like I've got enlightenment.. Some days ago I was very worried about college. I was only thinking whether I would be accepted or not, or what faculties should I choose. But now, it's over. I've applied for UI and UGM, and I've verified their application. For UI, I tried very hard to encourage myself and choose International Relation, Law, and Philosophy. But still until now I dont know whay I chose philosophy??? lol. and for UGM, I've chosen Law, English Literature, and Tourism. Hahaha. I couldn't even believe myself when I chose those faculties.

Yesterday I did UGM try out. The result was satisfying. and it was too satisfying, since the problems were very difficult, specially economy and math [my biggest enemies]. but I was still in the top ten. I couldn't believe that, it's been 2 try out I did, and I always could manage to be in the top ten. I hope.. I really hope.. this luck will last and accompany me until the reall test is over. Amiiin.

At least now I realize, it's not good to impose will. I really want to be a diplomat, but I have to accept the truth that it's not easy to go to International Relation. So, I decided to apply for International Relation only in UI..

I always hope, and it's my only hope, I can get a job in the future in which I can develop there. I can be very useful, and I can work all out. I've told this before, haven't I??

Whoever reads this, I expect you pray for me. Wish me luck, pray for me so I can pass the tests.. Thank youu..!!

Gotta go now, got my eyes asking to be closed. lol. ;D

Just Did Another Depressing Try Out

Hoaaaah! I have to hold on, I have to survive, I have to keep moving oooon!! No matter how complicated the entrance examinations try out I've met and dealt with were, I may not be trembled.

Guys.. I took SMUP Unpad [Padjajaran University] test try out last afternoon. The test had only two parts, Basic Ability and Scholastic Test. About Basic Ability, with God permission, I could do it well, yeah, with some need to concentrate more, of course. But overall, I was good.. But when I was doing Scholastic Test, I found many -cant be answered problems-. of course actually they had answers, but I still couldn't find them although I had spinned the formulas or seen from every angles. hahaha. I felt like a stupid.

But what was calming was that.. I had asked my mom to pray for me before the try out was begun. And I believe what she said would happen to me, "God blesses you with luck".. Hoooah. And "I wish you luck, do your best". I have done my best, so I'm sure God will bless me, either. :D

I ever said to my friend once, to achieve our dream, specially the hard one, sometimes we have to sacrifice. "Sacrifation" here means not "giving your soul" like sacrifation usually means to be. But "sacrifation" here means "working very hard, using our brain and ability harder, setting aside our time to play for studying.." or shorlty is.. "being mature".. ::D

Hm.. I just got my hair itchy.. Gotta wash my hair now!! Bye... I love you all.. :D

My Pray, My Job, My Future

Hmm.. Good evening everyone. I'm back to share with you. Sorry I didn't post anything for a week. I didn't have condusive time to post..

hey.. the day has passed so fast! and now my future is coming closer and closer day by day. But telling the truth, I'm not really ready to welcome that. I'm going to go to college in some months, but I dont know if I can pursue what I've been targeting all this time.. My mom always supports me and what's most important is, she said to me that money didn't matter, as long as it's used for education business. when I asked her "How if I decide to try all kind of entrance examinations?? It will cost a lot of money. " Then my mom answered easily, "No problem.." Then I asked her again, "So you dont mind to spend money at any cost for my college?" What was surprising was.. she nodded and she gave a very sweet smile, of course while saying, "Lanjiii.." I dont know why, but I feel my relationship with my mother is getting stronger day by day. Hmmm.. I love her.

By the way, I've started to take intensive program at school, and I directly felt in love with social subjects at the first day. I like it, because many of the materials can be answered by logic only, yeah, with some knowledge, of course. And I hope I can be success in the entrance examinations. Amin.

Let me convey what I think about job. I've told you that I wanna be a diplomat, right?? Let me give you the reason. I want to be a diplomat NOT because I LIKE that job, nor because I'm lured with the chance of going abroad. NO WAY. I wanna be a diplomat because I think I can be a useful worker in that field. I can work all out, and I'll give my heart and my soul to service my country. It's my typical, if I have chosen something to do, I'll be working very hard to give the best. Hmm.. If I want, I could have just decided to take science track and compeled myself to target, for example, civil engineering or environment engineering. and I probably can just go to that department. But even if I can graduate from that department, I cant guarantee that I'll work all out if I get a job.. :D

I always try to pray to God, "God. Please give what the best to me. Please give me a university department that will be the best path for me toward the future.. And please give me a future job in which I can be very useful for people surrounding, family, the related people, and myself of course.." Amin..

I gotta go now. Bye. Wish me luck!

with love, aulia-

School/Education

Hai.. how are u doing??!! I dont know why, but I miss my blog so much and I miss to write something on this...!!

Friends, hmm, I'm definitely having a hectic and depressing time. national examination [UN] is closer and closer and I still cant find the eagerness in my heart to study [lazy, red.] Lol. I do study hard but that isn't for UN, I'm just preparing for some univeristy tests cuz I'm gonna turn the wheels and take social track, and, since I'm a sains student, I have to study so much harder than the social students! I dont understand geography, economics, especially the integrated social subjects .. about history.. yeah, sains students study it, too, but it's material is a bit different from the social students'. social students study it deeper and more complete. I just need to read more and open my old books. :(

Telling the truth, I'm really not ready to face UN..!! I dont have any idea how can I answer the questions. Physics and chemistry are very complicated subjects. I often get bad scores at those subjects. Lol. But I know that sooner or later I will face it, and I'm sure that it will pass at last.

Okay.. actually there's not much to share today. My days passed monotonously and there aren't many changes. Yeah, of course I get more homeworks and assignments from school day by day. It's been a curse for Indonesian students. Lol. :)

Owyeah, by the way, have I told you the result of University of Indonesia Try Out?? Well, I was fucking lucky. My score was enough to take anthropology or philosopy. But I dont want them. I want International Relation. And I wont give up or give in. I could get a good score before studying totally, so I'm sure I can get better score than that after I study hard. Owyeah, I was in the 6th rank from 112 student. Hell yah, I was fucking lucky, wasnt' I?? The test was divided into 2 parts. First part is "academic potential test", and I was in the 7th rank for that test. then the second part is "social subjects ability" and I was in the 6th rank for that test. So.. what do u think??? I may not be happy or satisfied yet with that result. Even, I'm not relieved at all. On the contrary, that result stimulates my enthusiasm to learn harder and more active. Yeah.. at least, that result shows me that I have the basics of social subjects.. :D
I know that my path wont be smooth. I know it'll be very hard for me. But I dont know why, my spirit isn't diminished even a little. I keep standing steadily and if I fall, I'll get up very fast. And if I'm hurt, I'll recover fast.


Hmm.. I gotta go guys. I'm sleepy already. See you next time. I cant promise when I will post again. Just wait and see. Bye.

Cause sometimes..

Good evening.. What are you doing now?? Or u have fallen asleep already? I may not sleep yet, bcause I still have to study physics. yes, I'm going to get physics test tomorrow, and I just learned only 35% today.

What am I going to say at this chance is about love. Hahaha. Yes, I know it sounds melancholy or maudlin, but it's not about love between man and woman, it's about a deeper love. It's about love between parent and child.

Hmm... I just finished reading my new novel, Vanishing Acts or Hati yang Hilang. The story tells about a father who was forced by the situation to kidnapp his own daughter. Actually, there is no kidnapping term for a father to his daughter. But that was different. The father, named Andrew, was already divorced from his wife, Elise. Elise liked to get drunk and she had an affair with somebody else, so to Andrew, Elise couldn't take care of his daughter, Delia, very well.

Andrew and Delia got a-together-parenting decision from the judge, so it means they could take care of their daughter fairly. For example, if the first 3 days of the week Delia spend the day with Elise, so the next 3 days must be Delia's time with Andrew. But Andrew broke the rule. Due to the Elise's incompetence in taking care of Delia, Andrew decided to take Delia away. That day was the day of Delia and Andrew, and when the time of Andrew to bring Delia back to Elise's home, Andrew didn't do it. He decided to run, and took Delia away.

I know that what Andrew did was wrong. We can not justify any kind of kidnapping. Although if we know the real reason why Andrew could do that, taking something without permission is still unbearable. So Elise kept suing Andrew to the court. And after 28 years living their life with their fake identities, Andrew and Delia's new location finally was tracked down. Police came to arrest Andrew and brought him to the judicial process.

I wont tell you the whole story. It will be too long. There are still many side stories as the seasonings, but let me juts bring up what I think now.. If you have to break a rule, or worse, law, to save the person that you love, will you do that?? This novel, written by Jody Picoult, one of the most talented wrriter in the world, succesfully makes me assess anything, even criminal acts that have to be done because of urgent situation, from many angles. I can know how the point of view of a lawyer about this case is.. Or the point of views of the judge, the victims, the witness, the expert witnesses, or even the prosecuter. They all had a very pure conscience. The lawyer who defended Andrew, or the prosecuter who helped Elise, both of them did their job cause they cared of Delia.

The story ended with Andrew's victory. Andrew was stated not guilty by the judge.

This novel.. teaches me about love, sacrifice, determination, resolutness, or anything to maintain what we believe is true. And it also gives me a great science that sometimes regulations, constitution, or verses cant fully conclude people whether they are guilty or not. Cuz sometimes what looks very bad is not bad, in fact. Cuz sometimes we have to think outside the box. Cuz sometimes there is a time when we need to use our conscience and common sense rather than the written rules. Cuz sometimes what we think is wrong, on the contrary, is the most appropriate action.

Hmm.. I gotta go. I dont know what else to write. I really want to tell the complete story but it will take hours. I have to go studying now before I get sleepy. And I'm sorry for this post's obscurity. I was just trying to convey what I had just got.

Good night.

have a nice dream. :D